all that is gold does not glitter / / the power of words

Let me tell you a story. This is something that happened to me not too long ago and it completely broke my confidence.

I suppose that you'll need some more background information. I'm pretty confident when it comes to violin. I don't think that I'm the best, but I am confident in my abilities and proud of my accomplishments. The same goes for school. I get good grades and I enjoy it. With my body, I'm not as confident (but then again, who is?) but I am usually really content with myself.

Something that I have low confidence in is ballet. I'm not horrible, but I'm not amazing either. I'd call myself middling What is really holding me back is flexibility. I am the least flexible person in my classes and the rest of the girls are a lot better. It doesn't bother me, but like I said, I'm not really confident and am probably most out of my element there.

Now on to the story.

Our recital was about a month ago. This was a few days before that. We were trying costumes on again to make sure that everything fit and that my teacher didn't have to do anything else. Well, we were all trying these costumes on, but mine weren't fitting.

They had fit before, and now they were not.

And they weren't fitting around the waist.

You can imagine my horror. Like I said, I'm not terribly confident with my body image and for this to happen somewhere where I felt like the worst one.

Now before I go on, I have to explain something. My dance teacher really does care about us. Recital time is always a really stressful time for her because she is the only teacher at the studio and she does almost everything on her own. And I really do love her because she is great. But that does not excuse this next part.

So my teacher is trying to hook my costume and it isn't fitting. She is barely able to hook it and then huffs and says

"Well, just no snacking until after recital"

Let me tell you no words have crushed me like those did. From someone I looked up to in a teacher position in an activity where I knew that I wasn't where I was supposed to be able something so sensitive as my body image, I felt awful.

And maybe if it had been us two alone and she said that I would have been able to shake it off easier. But we weren't alone. Someone was there and they laughed.

I always struggled to fit in with the girls in my studio, and yeah. That made it worse.

So there you have it. Possibly the worst moment in my life.

Now, why am I sharing this? Because I want pity? No, I have gotten past it with the help of my mom and some of my dear friends.

I want to tell you all this as a warning.

 A warning so that you'll watch your words. Maybe my teacher didn't know that those words, which could have seemed as harmless to her, really broke me. Maybe to her, they seemed almost funny.

The whole thing with body image is something for another day, my point today is words.

Words are so powerful. And as writers, we know that probably better than most. But written words can not hurt as much as spoken words can. The message of a book cannot hurt a person as much as a teacher can hurt a student with a few words.

Words have the power to lift someone up.

Which means they have the power to tear someone down.

Unless someone tells us, we don't know how much our words impact another person. Do we really want to be the reason why someone goes home and cries for several hours? Or do we want to be the reason that someone goes home and stops crying?

I feel like in today's society, words aren't given enough importance. People throw words around like they mean nothing. People say things behind hands not caring if someone else hears.

Please. Please. Please.

Watch your words.

Once you say something, you can never take it back. Like my mom says, tacking on an "I'm just kidding" at the end doesn't mean that whatever hurt you caused is magically gone away.

Measure your words. For they have great power.

We can inspire the world through our words.

But then again, we can tear it down. Think of Hitler. What was one of his greatest weapons?

His words.

Think of Christ. What did He use?

His words.

So I'm begging you, please watch your words. Don't say anything that could crush someone for no reason. Lift people up.

So I hope this post was inspiring in some way lol. Funny story with the costume though, it turns out that I was putting on my duet partners costume instead of mine (they were one the wrong hangers). But how have words impacted your life? In a negative way? A positive way?

The Soul || Poetry Wednesday

The Soul
By Richard Henry Dana

Come, Brother, turn with me from pining thought
And all the inward ills that sin has wrought;
Come, send abroad a love for all who live,
And feel the deep content in turn they give.
Kind wishes and good deeds, -- they make not poor;
They'll home again, full laden, to thy door;
The streams of love flow back where they begin,
For springs of outward joys lie deep within,
Even let them flow, and make the places glad
Where dwell they fellow-men. Shouldst thou be sad,
And earth seem bare, and hours, once happy press
Upon thy thoughts, and make thy loneliness
More lonely for the past, thou then shalt hear
The music of those waters running near;
And they faint spirit drink the cooling stream,
And thine eye gladden with the playing beam
That now upon the water dances, now
Leaps up and dances in the hanging bough.
Is it not lovely? Tell me, where doth dwell
The power that wrought so beautiful a spell?
In thine own bosom, Brother? Then as thine
Guard with a reverent fear this power divine.
And it, indeed, 't is not the outward state,
But temper of the soul by which we rate
Sadness or joy, even let they bosom move
With noble thoughts and wake thee into love,
And let each feeling in thy breast be given
An honest aim, which, sanctified by Heaven,
And springing into act, new life imparts,
Till beats thy frame as with a thousand hearts.
Sin clouds the mind's clear vision,
Around the self-starved soul has spread a dearth.
The earth is full of life; the living Hand
Touched it with life; and all its forms expand
With principles of being made to suit
Man's varied powers and raise him from the brute.
And shall the earth of higher ends be full, --
Earth which thou tread'st, -- and thy poor mind be dull?
Thou talk of life, with half thy soul asleep?
Thou "living dead man," let thy spirit leap
Forth to the day, and let the fresh air blow
Through thy soul's shut-up mansion. Would'st thou know
Something of what is life, shake off this death;
Have thy soul feel the universal breath
With which all nature's quick, and learn to be
Sharer in all that thou dost touch or see;
Break from thy body's grasp, thy spirit's trance;
Give thy soul air, they faculties expanse;
Love, joy, even sorrow, -- yield thyself to all!
They make thy freedom, groveler, not they thrall.
Knock off the shackles which thy spirit bind
To dust and sense, and set at large the mind!
Then move in sympathy with God's great whole, and be like man at first, a living soul.

Character ABC's

(no, not the ABC cafe, sheesh, you les mis fans tsktsk)

A is for America Singer 

{The Selection}

B is for Bear Denniston (or Arthur, but we're sticking with Bear)

 {Shadow of the Bear}

C is for Cinder 

{The Lunar Chronicles}

D is for Damien Maris

 {Mark of the Raven}

E is for Elizabeth Bennet 

{Pride & Prejudice}

F is for Frodo Baggins 

{Lord of the Rings}

G is for Geric 

{The Goose Girl}

H is for Henry Higgins 

{Pygmalion}

I is for Isannah Lapham 

{Johnny Tremain}

J is for Juliet Ashton

 {The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society}

K is for Kahlen 

{The Siren}

L is for Lara Jean Covey 

{To All The Boys I've Loved Before}

M is for Max Vandenburg

 {The Book Thief}

N is for Nancy Drew 

{Nancy Drew}

O is for the Odysseus 

{The Odyssey}

P is for Puck Connolly 

{The Scorpio Races}

Q is for Quasimodo

 {The Hunchback of Notre Dame}

R is for Ross Poldark 

{Poldark}

S is for Scout Finch 

{To Kill A Mockingbird}

T is for Treebeard 

{The Lord of the Rings}

U is for Uriah Tarhund 

{Hittite Warrior}

V is fpr Velveteen Rabbit 

{The Velveteen Rabbit}

W is for Wendy Darling 

{Peter Pan}

X is for St. Francis Xavier 

{#catholicrebel}

Y is for Yoda 

{Star Wars}

Z is for Zeus

 {Greek Mythology}

What are some of your favorite characters? (literary or non). I couldn't think of any really for X, Y, and Z lol, do you know of any?

i do suppose an update is called for

You know I have a really bad habit of falling off the face of the earth. Hm. It's really hard to break, especially with life holding a knife to my throat.

But let's not get morbid.

Am I back for good? Who knows.

I've just gotten inspired again and let's hope it lasts.

Now for some updates.

Life Updates:

So I finished 11th gradeeeeeeeeee

#notreadytobeasenior

I went to orchestra camp and that AAAAAAAH. A lot of fun. Later this month I'm going to a chamber camp with one of my best friends and then spending a week at the house of another best friend.

I'll try to keep posting during that time but my computer is always iffy with new internet connections.

I'm starting to pick out the colleges I'm going to apply to, I have 5 out of the 10.

I started going to spiritual direction because my prayer life has to get stronger. I've been amazed about some of the things I'm learning about myself.

Blog Updates:

I know that there are some old posts where I didn't respond to comments, since they are very old I probably won't respond to them because, well, they are old.

I might be changing my header. Not sure. If I do it'll probably be this week.

So anywaysss

There are my updates

Love y'all,

Ceci <3